Feb 03, 2015

Married women who are wives and stay-at-home moms often lose their sense of self. You are consumed with being a mother and wife and taking care of other’s needs. Before you were married were you making plans for your future, keeping yourself busy and entertained and knew who you were and what you wanted from life?

A divorce can be a whirlwind of physical and mental proportions and leave you feeling spit out and lost. You are no longer partnered with your spouse, you are left to find and possibly reinvent yourself.

What are some ways to start developing a new sense of self after a divorce? 

• Take inventory, where do you stand with your ‘self’

Divorce can shine a spot light on negative aspects of our personalities. Now is the time to acknowledge the negative, own it, and change it. Focus on your best qualities and make them even better.

• Free time is precious, don’t waste it

Pre-divorce you mostly likely spent your free time with your spouse watching TV, going on dates and doing things as a family. Post-divorce you will find yourself with a lot of free time.

Use your free time wisely. Don’t sit and sulk that you are alone. Occupy your time with positive things. Take an on-line class, start a nightly exercise routine, start any hobbies you have wanted to try. This is your time to put yourself first.

• Focus on positive self-improvement

Actual, true self-improvement comes from action, not just thoughts. This will help keep insecurities and doubt at a minimum. Keep moving forward and building a new beautiful life.

• Revisit the past, the old ‘you’

What were you like before marriage? What dreams did you have that took the back burner to marriage and children? Bring those dreams back to life.

You will have some ‘bad’ days no matter how positive you are. Wake up the next day and keep moving forward to making a better YOU.