Feb 28, 2014

Divorce often comes with two confusing works, "Irreconcilable Differences." What does this really mean and could these so-called differences be reconciled? Is divorce really the solution or is getting over stubbornness and giving a little the solution?

Usually, couples don't use the term irreconcilable differences if they disagree about what type of cereal is the best or what to have for dinner. However, when something really is irreconcilable, it can easily be the cause of divorce.

Since Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, it doesn't matter what the reason is for the divorce. Some of the most common irreconcilable differences stated as reasons for divorce include:

• Unmet emotional needs
• Unmet physical needs
• Personality differences
• Lack of trust
• Aggressive or abusive behavior
• Resentment
• Bickering or fighting
• Financial issues

Out of these very common reasons for divorce, only one is really a good and legitimate reason for divorce: Aggressive or abusive behavior. The rest of the issues can be solved, if both parties are willing to work on the marriage.

Unmet needs in the physical and emotional arena are often the easiest to solve with marriage counseling and a willingness to work on the marriage. Usually, if these two are met, the lack of trust, resentment and bickering will also be solved.

Financial issues usually solve themselves over time, but counseling can often help a couple get on the right track, as well. Personality differences sounds a bit like a cop out and often is just an excuse for something deeper.

However, if both partners are not willing to work on the marriage, they may really have irreconcilable differences and divorce may be the only solution. Before considering divorce, you should do everything possible to save the marriage. If irreconcilable differences still cannot be reconciled, make sure to consult with a skilled divorce attorney as you go through the process.