Jun 09, 2015

Victims of infidelity in a marriage tend to ask themselves the same questions over and over again. Why did this happen? Could I have done something different? How could my spouse do this to me? What did that person have that I don’t?

It’s hard to wrap your mind around the idea that your spouse was physically, emotionally and mentally involved with someone other than yourself. What were the motivations of someone to take something from you that belong to you? Since this time-old situation has become so common, people have studied the motivations behind cheating. Here is a look at why the other man or woman would help your spouse cheat.

A lack of empathy

When someone is willing to take from you and fulfill their own needs regardless of who they hurt, this is a sign that they lack empathy. They are unable to “walk a mile” in someone else’s shoes. This person that lacks empathy can’t understand what the pain would feel like on the other end or what the experience could be like for you.

While you are hurting, they are unable to relate to the pain and simply want to fulfil their desire for your husband or wife. They may understand that the act was wrong but not be able to understand the emotion on your end. In fact, some people that are considered narcissistic or sociopathic may get a thrill out of your pain, if they are damaged to this degree, and aren’t in it out of love for your spouse but rather to feed their desire.

Selfishness

It usually takes a selfish person to help a spouse cheat. They want this person and aren’t willing to put someone else’s feelings ahead of their own. They don’t think about the damage they will cause you and your spouse but only that their needs are fulfilled. They are blinded by attention and don’t care about anyone else.

Morals

Lastly, they don’t really have a strong moral code of conduct they live by. They won’t take moral responsibility for their actions. If they do have a moral code of conduct, it includes infidelity as acceptable. It acts like a “get out of jail free” card in which they think their actions are acceptable in this situation.

These are the qualities of a person that would help your spouse cheat.