Oct 16, 2015

A divorce is incredibly hard on both spouses but the worst thing you could do is make reckless decisions during this delicate time. This messy process shouldn’t be mixed with additional reckless decisions because it’s going to cause more anger and hurt. Lawyers want to win the fight and it helps when one person makes poor decisions.

Men sometimes tend to behave worse when the rug has been pulled out from under their lives because most divorces are filed by women putting the man in a situation they didn’t ask for. Here is a look at what some men have done during a divorce that’s reckless so that you don’t make the same mistake.

Retaliate

It might be tempting to retaliate on your wife right now. When you still love your wife but feel the pain of divorce, it’s hard to hold back the emotion and stay calm. It’s easy to want to hurt your wife right now through your words and legal actions but it’s better to take the high road. Avoid talking badly about your wife. This only gives ammunition and makes you look bad when you belittle your wife to others. She also may say something like “see, this is the kind of stuff he said to make me leave him.”

Not Hiring a Lawyer Right Away

While you may feel tempted to wait to get a divorce attorney in hopes that your wife will change her mind, you are making a big mistake. Women tend to have the upper hand in a divorce so you are wise to be proactive. The sooner you hire someone and learn your rights as a father and how to act during the settlements, the better your chances of staying protected in the divorce.

Not Negotiating or Trying to Share an Attorney

You need to be willing to negotiate in the divorce. If you don’t, a judge will decide who gets what. Going through mediation, you’ll decide on the assets and child custody so if you are willing to negotiate on something she wants, you may have better odds of getting something you want. If you don’t negotiate and end up in front of a judge, they will notice which one is being unreasonable and favor the one who is calm, cool and collect.

Don’t try to share an attorney either regardless of how civil you’re being. Your legal divorce rights need to be prioritized and having one attorney working for you both may put one at an advantage over the other.

Lastly, some men try to move out of their marital home or live separately from the kids. It’s still your home and you haven’t lost parental rights so don’t act like you have. You may make yourself look bad when this goes to court.