Oct 08, 2014

When going through a divorce, it’s hard to not communicate with your ex. There are legal issues to handle, things that need communicated, and sometimes children involved to consider.

Many learn that the best way to heal form a divorce is by using the “no contact” rule. This means, that you completely remove someone from your life in order to heal. This can be difficult to accomplish during a divorce but it’s effective in healing the pain. Here is how to use the “no contact” rule after a divorce.

What is the “no contact rule?”

The “no contact” rule is used when someone is trying to heal or “get over” another person. It means there is no communication over the phone, in person, online, or even on social media for a set amount of time, if not permanently. To use the rule, you need to follow the guidelines of:

• Avoiding their Facebook profile
• Not texting this person for anything
• Not calling this person for anything

To progress the situation, be sure to “Unfriend” or “Unfollow” them on social media and remove their email address and phone number from your phone. Do not speak to them if you happen to run into them in public, as well.

What if my spouse and I had kids?

It’s wise to set up a parenting plan with your ex. Stick to the plan and don’t modify it. This would require more contact. If you need to communicate about the kids, stick to email. You can actually use an email system that is court approved so they can see evidence of the email exchange. Don’t engage in arguments or negotiations; just stick to the parenting plan.

Avoid events that your ex will be attending. If your children have events, you can take turns on which parent may attend which event. On visitation weekends, don’t walk your child to your ex’s car or even look to see them. Any way to avoid contact is necessary and possible.

After divorce, be sure to avoid communication and face-to-face interaction as much as possible to help you heal and move forward.