Jun 30, 2014

Marriage should be an enjoyable part of life. You should be able to bond with your spouse, share special moments and memories, and genuinely enjoy each other's company. If you are married to a passive aggressive person, though, these things are always just out of reach.

Let's be clear here, marriage is not always sunshine and butterflies no matter who you are married to. Every marriage will have its tough moments that can sometimes seem like they will never end and every couple will have conflicts and arguments. The important thing during these tough times is that you stay connected and close to your spouse. During these times, that may feel impossible, but if you are married to a passive aggressive spouse, it truly is.

All About the Passive Aggressive Spouse

Passive aggressive people will make you feel like you are alone in the marriage. How?

• They will always be on the defense as if you are attacking them during conflict. You will be seen as aggressive instead of as part of the problem solving team.
• As you become more emotional, the passive aggressive spouse will become more logical and calmer. Soon, you feel like you are desperate and emotionally cut off.
• As the passive aggressive spouse becomes detached, you feel even more anxious because it becomes clear they are not emotionally invested in the relationship.
• You are left to clean it up. The passive aggressive spouse shuts down and retreats, leaving you surrounded by unsolved problems and conflict.

The best thing that you can do is recognize this behavior and do what you can to see it for what it is. Your spouse doesn't validate your needs or emotions in order to make you pay less attention to them so that you can focus on their own. Don't play into it, but realize that more than likely this is unintentional behavior and there are ways to cope with it.