Nov 13, 2014

When you find out your spouse is cheating on you and it has been going on for a while, it can be quite devastating. This is a hard situation to navigate and you may think you are to blame. Are you responsible for your spouse's affair?

Did you Make the Decision for Them?

We all have to own up to our own individual choices. Your spouse made the decision to cheat, instead of dealing with whatever has caused the cheating in a different way. You cannot take responsibility for their actions.

Why are You Not to Blame for the Affair?

You didn't make the decision to cheat, but this isn't the only reason you are not to blame. Other reasons include:

They may have cheated because of immaturity. Many times, bills, kids and other things get in the way of intimacy and instead of dealing with the issue with you; your spouse avoided it and turns to someone outside the marriage.

They don't feel their needs are being met. Often, someone cheats because they are not getting what they want out of the relationship. This can also cause them not to give as much, either. When this happens, a mature person will try to communicate and seek counsel, if necessary. However, an immature person will start looking for somebody else.

They cheated because of a mid-life crisis. When a person has a mid-life crisis, it can cause many things to happen. Instead of just getting a fast car or something else to feel young, they may cheat.

There are many other reasons why a spouse might cheat and none of them are your fault. You cannot control what they do and you cannot take on the responsibility of their choices. When someone cheats, they are likely to blame the other person, but it's not your fault.