If you're married to or were married to somebody that was toxic, it's pretty normal that you spend time blaming yourself instead of him or her. There are specific signs of a toxic ex-spouse. Here is how you will know if your ex-spouse is toxic.
A person that won't respect your privacy, whether married or divorced is usually a toxic individual. If you’re divorced and they still feel like they should know what you are doing at all times, you're dealing with a toxic ex-spouse. They may ask you tons of questions or they try to communicate with you too often. This type of person can be very sneaky about the way they invade your privacy, too.
Sure, your ex-spouse may want to "protect the kids" from anybody you date, but this is often just a way for them to interfere with your relationship. They may even take on the attitude of, "I don't want to be with you, but you can't be with anybody else, either." This is certainly somebody that is toxic and they will likely try to sabotage any new relationship you try to form.
A toxic ex-spouse will also use the children by bad mouthing you to them and trying to turn them against you. They may even abandon the children to punish you in some way. This type of person won't stop just because they are hurting the children and this is very dangerous.
Other signs of a toxic ex-spouse include:
If you're still married to or were married to somebody that fits this description, understand that they are probably toxic. This can be dangerous and you will have to learn how to put up safe boundaries with this type of person.