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When Are You Ready to Date After a Divorce?

Apr 25, 2014


couple_holding_hands01.jpgThere are many opinions on the subject of dating after divorce and every individual is different. Some counselors will tell you that you know you're ready to date when you're 100% comfortable with being alone. Others will tell you that you must wait a specific amount of time before you start dating.

Common Statements Associated with Dating after Divorce

Some of the most common things you may hear about dating after a divorce include:

  • It takes 4 months for every year of marriage to fully heal
  • Waiting at least a year is necessary and any dating before that time is just a rebound
  • Marriage after divorce is more likely to fail
  • Sex after a divorce can destroy you emotionally
  • You must be 100% over you ex-spouse before you date

Even though there may be some truth to each of these statements, they don't apply to every situation.

The Decision is Ultimately Yours

After a divorce, the decision to date ultimately comes down to you. It's a balance of being past your ex-spouse and the former relationship enough to move forward and a maturity of knowing what you need/want in a future spouse. When you decide to date again, you should have a very good idea of what you're looking for in a man or woman. Setting a list of specific criteria can keep you from settling and ending up in a similar situation as your previous marriage.

You can take the opinion of your counselor or you support group and use it as your benchmark, but there's no perfect answer. It takes time to heal, but everybody heals differently. Maybe you heal quicker than somebody else. You will know when it's time to date and you won't doubt your decision, even though you may question your motive, at first.



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